Don't be offended if I didn't personally tell you this. I didn't tell anyone. The doctor called me with my spinal tap results. Well, it appears I do have MS. I don't even need an MRI now... he said this is how they used to diagnose.
I can't talk to anyone right now because I can't control my crying.
How can such a wonderful part of my life (having the baby) be so tainted with this news? I just want that dark cloud to lift away from me.
At least this diagnosis won't affect the pregnancy. I'm supposed to start a round to steroids soon to help aleviate my symptoms. The gyno said it's safe to do.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired and emotionally drained. I've had moments of numbness followed by anger and sorrow today. I guess I have to take it day by day.
Sorry I had to deliver this news...
On top of that,the Nissan is still dead so I didn't make it to work. I guess that's not the worst thing considering today's news.
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4 comments:
My dear Cathy,
The illness is just a name. Like the flu, a virus, mumps, measles. It is treatable. It is not who you are. You are Cathy; strong, sensible, smart, loving, wife, mother, daughter, friend. You are very blue right now but you must find the positives in your life and they are many. You must think about all of the peolple I have talked to that know others with MS who are your age and doing fine. Nothing is keeping them from being normal with the medications availalble. People with severe illness tell me the difference in how they feel from day to day is optimism, positive outlook and attitude, keeping a smile on their face. And you will do that when you get this day out of your system and tomorrow comes around. It all reflects internally. Pregnancy also makes emotions ten times normal. Praying for patience is good too.
We'll get through this. No matter what it takes, we'll get by. YOU may have the disorder, but WE are in this together. I'll always be by your side, come what may.
Love you.
Jase is right. WE, all of us are a family and we will, all sides of your family, will be there for you. When I used to feel things were overpowering me I went home to Mom and cried on her shoulder. Kim does that too. You should do that too. I still think sometimes "I want my Mommy". Sometimes it is the best medicine. Husbands are great and loving and comforting too, but sometimes you just want to go back in time and run to Mom. Or have her come to you. Of course I am available but I know it is not the same. SMILE - you are loved by the best man I know. (maybe the second best).
We are here for you, please know that. We love you. God is with you. He is most powerful, look to Him for guidance. He, and us, will get you through this. You have a wonderful husband and a new baby on the way. Embrace that and hold on tight. You have many years of happiness ahead of you.
Please call anytime if you need a shoulder to cry on or someone just to listen. (((hugs)))
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