OB Appt. today

I'm keeping this short because my eyes won't stay open right now. It'll probably end up long because I am long-winded.

Mom went with me to the OB today we I had a quick check-up. It was nothing special since it was just a 16 week checkup.

Everything seems to be good. The OB found the heartbeat. Once again the baby moved during it so I thought it was cool.

I gained 4 pounds since last time so I'm right on track.

I scheduled my big ultrasound for a couple weeks from now. Hearing the heart today was awesome but I can't wait to see the baby! I can't wait for Jason to see, too. I think it will make it more real for him.

Oh yes, every time I have a preggo entry, I have neurology news. The EEG results did come back. As in typical fashion, the doc didn't have much to say. He said the results weren't 100% normal but he wouldn't call them abnormal. He didn't think I was having seizures. When I told him that I had a numb sensation during the test he said that he was then positive it wasn't seizure activity. He didn't offer anything else so for now I guess it is what it is.

It has calmed down a bit lately (thank God). It was happening a couple times an hour for a while. Now it's only happening 4 or 5 times a day. If it stays that way I can live with it.

Anyway, I am exhausted. I worked, had the OB appt., and then went to dinner with Jason tonight (which consisted of a 30 minute wait). So, I think I'm going to bed. I have to work again tomorrow. Yay.

"The Quickening"

It sounds like a movie, doesn't it? Well, if you don't know what quickening is, it's the first time the mom feels the baby's movement. I think I had it three days ago. Now I know why people wonder if it's real and 1st time moms take longer to identify it. I'd never guess I was feeling movement except that I belong to a forum with women have had children and are as pregnant as I am. So they've been talking about it.

Three nights ago (and two days in a row; not last night), I felt something going on. I did think it was gas at first (which is common). But, then nothing happened (umm... no air passed anywhere). I then felt like a ball was in my belly. I think those sensations were the baby.

That was the first time my mind thought, 'wow. What in the hell did I do?' Near panic sunk in; then happiness. I want to feel it more. Nothing happened yesterday. It's so early that it's not expected to happen all the time yet.

I have my next OB appt. on Tuesday so I'm just counting down the days. I can't wait to hear the heartbeat and be reassured that we're moving along.

I'll be 16 weeks tomorrow.

And, on another note, people have been asking... no I did not get the EEG results. I tried to call the doctor's office three times on Friday but couldn't get through. I'll try again this week. I'm hoping no news is good news. But, I really should find out.

I really hope there's a baby in there....

LOL -

5 Weeks:



15 Weeks:

Back from EEG

I'm back from the EEG. It went a lot quicker than I thought it would. It took 10 min. for the woman to put tons of probes on my head and the test itself took maybe 15 min.

She told me to keep my eyes closed and I had to get a kick out of that. She knew they were open by looking at the scan, not my eyes. She said when I blinked, it screwed up the test. It's near impossible to keep your eyes shut when you're laying in your back in a hospital testing room.

She had me breathe deep and that did make my face do its thing. So, if anything, that should show up on the test. I don't know what it is or means, but it should help the people reading the results.

I'm very scared for the results but I have to tell myself that this has been going on for weeks and the results don't change anything. It is what it is and I'll figure it out.

So, that's all for now. I may try to take a nap. I cheated on the less than 6 hours of sleep rule. I did everything I could to stay awake until 12:30 last night and gave up. I set the alarm at 6:30 but when it went off this morning, I hit the snooze every 7 min until 7:30. I couldn't help it. I was just too tired. I don't think it'd normally be a problem so I think I'll blame the pregnancy.

Big Scare

Well yesterday I woke up and was spotting. I freaked out right away and debated if I should go to the ER. Luckily, I thought to call Laura first and she told me to call the OB. I did and they told me to sit tight (if it didn't get worse) and get in this morning.

I went to the doctor's at 9 and had the usual 45 min. wait. the doctor finally came in, broke out the dopper, found the heartbeat, and sent me home. (The spotting has since stopped.)

I am relieved, but I'll always find something to worry about! I can't wait for the 18 week ultrasound. I want to see the little one... not just hear.

It's cool because the heart was audible and moved away. The baby moved and the doctor had to re-find the sound.

I hope I get no more spotting.

As of today, I am 13 weeks... the start of the second trimester! I'd say that time is flying by but with me constantly doting, it's not! At least I'm a third of the way through! I hope I start growing a belly and feel the baby soon. I can't wait until Jason can feel something. He's kind of just a passenger in all of this right now so I feel bad.

And, in other news, I get my EEG on Wednesday. I'm not allowed more than 6 hours of sleep. That's not going to be fun. Right now I tend to get well over 8. I guess I'll survive the one day. (The EEG is a test to measure my brain waves to try and explain the facial numbness.)

That's all for now. Let's hope I have no more news for a while.

12 Week Appt.

I just got back from my 12 week appointment. Aside from them being 30 minutes late, it was an uneventful appointment. I was anxious to hear the baby's heartbeat but we had to sit and talk with the doctor first. She was very nice and took the time to chat with us. This is the first time at this practice and I liked them so much better than my original OB/GYN. I think I'll stick with them.

Anyway, after the fomality of chatting had passed, we went back in to the exam room and she broke out the doppler machine. It didn't even take two seconds for us to hear the heartbeat. That was the first time I heard the sound and it was pretty cool. Hopefully Jason thought it was worth taking that time off just to hear that.

So, that's all they really did. But, it seems that things are fine. The doc thought the heart sounded good. I forgot to ask how fast it was going, but I guess it doesn't matter if she liked it.

I have 4 more weeks before I go back... which will be the end of December.

On another note, the neurologist called me the other day and told me I can get an EEG to see why my face is having problems. He said we can't do anything about it, but at least the results will be on record.

But, I don't want to dwell on that today; I want to focus on the baby stuff.

So now I just have 4 more weeks of anxiety until my next appointment!

Down Day

Well, I'm having a down day today.

I didn't sleep well and I'm tired. But, the worser part is what's going on with my body. This one isn't pregnancy related. I don't know if I mentioned it here already, but for the past several weeks the right side of my face has had 10 second episodes of going numb. It's still doing it and it's now doing it to my tongue and down my right arm. It's even affecting my left hand. I'm almost having trouble focusing my eyes when it happens. It pretty much seizes me up. This is so frustrating and scary.

It just started last time I saw the neurologist. I did tell him about it. He said it couldn't be MS since MS symptoms come and stay or they completely leave after a time. They don't just come and go like this. At the time he said it may be stress. Well, after waiting a few weeks, I can say that I don't think it's stress.

It's scaring me. I don't even know if MS is the right diagnosis since I never got my MRI. I did call the doctor and left a message today about this. I fear for what he may want to do, or worse yet, what really is wrong with me.

I'm sick of being scared and feeling like this. This should be the best time of my life and all I do is deal with this crap. It's hard to stay positive when your face goes numb and stops you in your tracks countless times a day. It's worse today and I wonder if it's because I didn't sleep.

Sorry to dump this but I'm at work alone trying to make it to 5:00. Everyone else left early so I'm holding down the fort. I seriously doubt the doctor will even call me back today and tomorrow's a holiday.

I just had to get it out somewhere...

I pray nothing else (or worse) is wrong with me. I'm sure the hormones aren't helping, either.

So my next appointment isn't until the Wednesday after Turkey Day. It's KILLING me. This whole pregnancy thing is surreal. I hear it's common to woner, 'is there really anything in there?' That's exactly how I feel. Even after seeing a heartbeat and watching the baby on TV, I don't believe it. I've watched too many fictional TV shows to think this is real.

I've been feeling fine lately. Today is the start of 11 weeks. I hear at the end of the first trimester that feeling crappy goes away. For me it has. I'm not even starving every two hours like I was. I guess I just have to wait a little over a week to find out.

We went to my sister in law's surprise birthday party last night. We had a good time. It's nice to see everyone approach me and ask how I am. I think it's thoughful and sweet. I noticed a few visual belly checks. It's too bad that I'm not showing yet! Some people I couldn't remember even asked how I was. I'm horrible at remembering people, though.

I think we're going to Giant Eagle to buy the rest of Thanksgiving Day food. I'm sure Giant Eagle will have samples for us. We love that Giant Eagle and their samples. Jason can nearly scrounge a full meal out of it.

I think I'm going to buy some fake wine. I actually love that stuff and now I have an excuse to get it!

I know more people read this than comment so I wanted to say that I hope all of you have a great Thanksgiving holiday. I may not post before then. Pray that my little peanut is well and is ready to be heard at my next appointment (their heart, anyway).

I finished my O/T on Friday. I've improved quite a bit but my scapula is still very weak. I was yelled at to use the rubber bands more. I kind of stopped using them. I should be better about that.

As for the pregnancy, I've had days where I've felt completely normal (which scares me) and days (like yesterday) where I felt off. I was nauseous all day yesterday. I hope it's a sign that the little one is still growing. I still have two weeks until my next appointment. The wait is killing me.

Today is my official 10 week mark. If I make it to 12 weeks, we're mostly out of the woods. I just have to wait a little longer. With Thanksgiving coming up, I'm sure the time will quickly pass.

I hate that I have to wait 3 more weeks to check in on the little peanut. As usual, I worry... shock, right? In the meantime, here's something I wrote in the hopes that our little one is well.

Shining star
Twinkling heart
Beating within me

A miracle contained in my universe
Unaware of life to come

I will give myself… my heart… my soul to this little one

This tiny being, a mixture of my soul mate and me
Will be a part of our lives in ways we could never imagine.

Little one, you’ll never know how much we want you
We need you.

These magical months feel like an eternity…
One worth waiting for.
We cannot wait to meet you.

In the meantime, stay strong…
Grow…
Flourish within me
And take my nourishment.

The time will soon arrive where I will hold you in my arms
And look into those wide eyes
And never try to imagine a day without you.

Next Neuro Appt.

I'm done with the next neuro appoitment. The doctor was actually quite positive.

He wants me on treatment as soon as I deliver. The only bad news with that is I won't be able to fully nurse. I can deal with that, though. I'll nurse to the point where I see him again and get on treatment. I'll need an MRI after I deliver, too.

The good news is that he thinks we caught this early enough that we can keep it under control better. He said MS doesn't kill people, it can debilitate them. But, hopefully we can keep it to a minimum with early treatment. Treatment can eliminate or minimize the 'attacks' so I won't have as many lasting effects as if I wasn't treated. I hope that works for me.

If I do get an attack before next June I can get put on steroids to help reverse the effect.

My left side has improved so I'm happy. I might be done with O/T. I forgot to ask.

I think that's it for now. I'm at work all week filling in for my coworker who's on her honeymoon. So, I need to get to it.

O/T Updates

I had O/T yesterday and she gave me the same tests as the first day. I improved in all areas. I still can't write and have trouble typing, but I've improved drastically. I have a neuro appt. on Monday so we'll see what the doctor says. The therapist said that this next Friday could be my last session. So, we'll see. I have tons of at home exercises I will still have to do.

Unfortunatly, even though my left hand is improving, I have been getting numbness on the right side of my face off and on. It doesn't hurt and happens mostly when I'm standing up from sitting, or if I'm getting stressed over something. I don't know if this will last, but it is annoying.

That's apparently one of the most upsetting things about MS... it's unpredictable. Troubles can come and go, or stay. Some can go and come back years later. Ther's just no knowing.

Well, I think our little peanut is well. I haven't felt sick in two weeks. But, I MUST eat every two hours. And, I cannot eat a ton at one time or I feel awful. I had breakfast at 10:30 and it's 12:30 and I'm dying of hunger. I have food cooking but it's not fast enough!

I don't get back to the doctor until early December so hopefully our little one will be growing and thriving all of this time. I'd love another ultrasound but I've been lucky that I already got two. Most women don't get one until 20 weeks! I should at least be able to hear the heart beat at my 12 week appt. though a doppler. I hope I do!

Lunch awaits and I must eat!

Embarassing

Here's on vacation... pre preggo:



Here's 5 weeks. I thought I looked... okay.



Here's 8 weeks. I don't know that it's just pregnancy. I think it's candy bars and lack of walking! I'd love to watch my weight now but I don't think I'm allowed. I only wish I was pushing it out.

8 Week Ultrasound

Well, I'm back from the ultrasound.

The baby is good and we saw the heartbeat again! I could have watched it all day but the tech didn't stay on it too long.

The tech was nice and said they had OB doctors in that building. So, I may switch to them. I hate my current doctors and can't imagine delivering with them.

Anyway, the heart rate was at 170-ish... which is good.

I'm measuring exactly to when I thought I conceived.

So, I'm back at work finishing my day. My mind is at ease... for this week!

Appointment...

Well... to sum it up on three words... I know nothing.

The fertility clinic told me to go into my regular OB for an 8 week check up and ultrasound. Well, it turns out that when UPMC took over my doctor's office, they got rid of the ultrasound machine. So, the doctor did a quick exam and wrote me a script for bloodwork and ultrasound.

All that worrying and waiting didn't go away today. Now I have to go somewhere else for the ultrasound. This seems typical of my luck. Sorry to be down on it, but I'm pretty livid and frustrated. I want a new doctor but I don't even know how to begin looking. I've been unhappy with them for years now. This just proves me right.

So, I don't know anything new. It's more waiting for me.

Sorry I don't have any more news.

New Car, Busy Weekend

(First of all.... I posted pictures below. No matter how small I make them, they're getting cropped (thanks to Photobucket?) So, I think you should be able to click on any one picture to see the whole thing. I don't have time to putz anymore, so they'll have to annoy me by being cropped...)

Well, we bought a 2008 Subaru Impreza Outback Wagon yesterday. I love the new car. It's a
stick and they're harder and harder to find. It was an exhausting day, but it's great to have a car where the roof doesn't leak, the tac (is that how you spell it) works, the passenger window goes up, all the speakers work... I could go on. I swear.

This morning Jason's parents had us over for breakfast. Cyan came along and played with her cousin Buster. We have a wedding to go to tonight. So, Cyan should be tired enough to sleep tonight.

I'm just catching up on things around the house before tonight. It's going to be a long night. I have my next OB appt. tomorrow so I hope it comes soon! I'm also trying to do my therapy exercises (I just did some), but they're so boring it's hard to keep on track. On thing the therapist gave me was a card game so I should make Jason play with me. At least it's interactive.

Anywhoo... I have to shower for the wedding. I'll keep everyone posted about tomorrow's appointment.

Nothing New

I really have no reason to post today. I have nothing new going on. I have O/T tomorrow and my next ultrasound on Monday. The wait is killing me! I haven't spotted in days but I still have no pregnancy symptoms now. I'm trying not to worry so I'm just playing a large (3 day) waiting game.

Pray that my little one is healthy and growing! I know I am.

Panic

Well... I'm in full panic mode. I've been spotting off and on for a week now. The doctor isn't concerned and doesn't want to see me. They said if I was miscarrying, they couldn't do anything, anyway. Spotting can be normal.

The most alarming thing is that I have NO symptoms anymore.

Not that I want to be sick, but at least I'd know that I was okay. I went from 11 last night to 10am this morning without eating. Normally that'd be a death sentence, but nope... I have no problems.

I don't know what to do. The doctor won't see me and I don't have an appointment for a week.

Gooogle is my worst enemy. I read up on Missed Miscarriages and I'm trying not to lose it.

Sorry I had to share...

UPDATE (A COUPLE HOURS LATER)...
well, my stomach hurts again (after I ate breakfast)... let's hope it's a good sign.

Off and On

Well yesterday was good morning sickness wise. It felt good to feel almost normal. Since I felt better yesterday, I am paying for it again today! Jason made me an english muffin for breakfast. Too bad it didn't taste too good! But, it's not his fault. So, I'm sitting on the couch grumbling waiting for this to pass.

I had O/T yesterday and it went well. I learned new exercises and re-tested on one of the eval tests. I did improve so I'm happy. I shaved 6 seconds off my time.

Mom came over to visit after that and then Jason and I went to the History Center for the opening of a display he was involved in with work. The place was packed. I don't know how people know about these things.

I think we're going car looking today, once my green face turns human again.

This Morning

Well... I don't know if this can be considered good news or not, but I feel like total crap this morning. I'm at work trying to keep my stomach from exploding. Even my beloved Tums did nothing. I'm supposed to be eating cereal right now but I just can't bring myself to do it.

I can't believe that this lasts for 12 weeks. Ugh. 6 more weeks to go.

EDIT to explain since mom seemed confused: If you feel sick, the baby is probably good and still growing. It's probably good news that I feel ill. I hope that makes sense. I know it sounds odd.

Spinal Tap Results - Not Good

Don't be offended if I didn't personally tell you this. I didn't tell anyone. The doctor called me with my spinal tap results. Well, it appears I do have MS. I don't even need an MRI now... he said this is how they used to diagnose.

I can't talk to anyone right now because I can't control my crying.

How can such a wonderful part of my life (having the baby) be so tainted with this news? I just want that dark cloud to lift away from me.

At least this diagnosis won't affect the pregnancy. I'm supposed to start a round to steroids soon to help aleviate my symptoms. The gyno said it's safe to do.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired and emotionally drained. I've had moments of numbness followed by anger and sorrow today. I guess I have to take it day by day.

Sorry I had to deliver this news...

On top of that,the Nissan is still dead so I didn't make it to work. I guess that's not the worst thing considering today's news.

Picture!

Here's the 6 week ultrasound! Enjoy!

Busy Day

Here's the boring stuff first. I'll keep it short. I had O/T this morning and it went well. Since I got sick last time (and remained composed this time), we went over my 'home program'. It's so frustrating when you can't do simple tasks (like flip coins) with one hand. Oh well, I guess that's the point of therapy. I hope it works.

And... let's skip ahead to the second boring thing... the Nissan died this afternoon. Jason just got back after buying a battery charger. We hope that's the problem. It's time to trade in the Nissan.

Now here's the fun stuff... I got my fist (6 week ) ultrasound today. We didn't see much. But, everything's where it should be. And... we have a heartbeat! I teared up when we saw it. It was so cool to see a little pulsating light on the screen and know that's a tiny heart beating inside me. It's kind of freaky, too and puts this all in reality.

They said the heart was going sort of slow, but, it's so early that they're surprised to see one at all. I'm supposed to go again in 2 weeks and that should be more telling. The heart should be beating faster next time. I think it was going around 106 bpm and next time it should be closer to 160 (I think).

Well, after two appointments and a dead car, I'm beat. I will try to post an ultrasound picture soon. My scanner is in the attic so it isn't easily accessable.

For now, I need dinner and it's 7:30. I'm hungry!

One More Neuro Test

I am back from the third of recent tests, an ultrasound on my neck. It only took 5 minutes so it wasn't that bad. I was hoping that I didn't feel ill though it but I was fine.

Mom also came over and cleaned my bathroom (thank you). I'm scared to touch and inhale Comet. It can't be good for you! I guess I should find natural cleaners now.

The dog had us up all night last night. Poor Jason is exhausted. Cyan whined and cried every hour on the hour. I think she was bored. Jason delt with her while I munched on crackers and popped tums. I felt like I could feel off all day but I kept that feeling at bay. So now I'm a little tired but I'll survive.

I'm scared for Monday's ultrasound. Did I mention that? I'm afraid they'll find nothing! We only have a couple more days to wait. The'll feel like an eternity. For now, I'm glad it's Friday.

Tum, Tum, Tum, Tum....

The clinic told me that I can take Tums and B12 to help with feeling sickey. So, we went to Giant Eagle last night on an emergency trip for Tums, B12, and frozen dinners (I don't cook much anymore, sorry)!

Well, I took the B12 last night and popped a couple Tums at 8am this morning... so far so good. It may be because I have the morning off. I'm not sure.

But, now that I don't feel sick this morning, I'm starting to worry! I just can't win.

I have an ultrasound on Monday and I can't wait. I hope they give us good news.

Heave Ho, Here We Go

First, thanks for all the comments on my original posts. Everyone is so wonderful.

The morning sickness apparently wasn’t a fluke. Today, I had to leave work at 10am because I thought I was going to die. My office is so awesome that I could work from home today.

I had to pull over twice on my way home and try not to puke. I finally made it home and couldn’t wait any longer. I felt much better after! I think my ‘morning sickness’ is just that I’d be happy if it’s just a once a morning thing! Isn’t that sad?

Now I just need to get an appetite and want to eat something real. I’ve been living off cheese puffs for two days.

O/T Today

I just got back from my first occupational therapy session. I can't say I remember any of it. I felt ill and thought I was going to faint.

Long story short, the woman grabbed me a puke bucket and I obliged. I haven't throw up since 7th grade... until today.

I was so embarassed. The therapist sees it all the time and doesn't mind at all. It's still embarassing. She got me ginger ale and a 'preggo pop' to suck on. She said I'm in the prime time for morning sickness.

I called mom after the event and she drove me home. The car is still at St. Clair Hospital. I have to pick it up later. Thanks for the ride, mom. :)

The Beginning...

I thought starting a blog would be the best way to keep everyone updated on what’s going on with me. I love you all, but I get to a point where I don’t want to talk about this stuff anymore.

Here’s the newest update:

Neurologically Speaking – I had a spinal tap on Friday and it hurt. My back was sore and I laid down for 24 hours and was fine. After the initial 24 hours, I started back up to my normal routine and now I’m getting headaches. I don’t know if they’re ‘spinal headaches’ but it’s not fun. I do know that I feel better when I lay down but I hate being lazy.

I also got an echocardiogram on Saturday and it went fine. I still have to get some sort of ‘doppler’ on my neck to check my blood flow. I start occupational therapy today and I can’t wait

I won’t get any results until at least the 21st. I can’t even get an MRI for several weeks (which is frustrating but I understand… I have to be safe with a pregnancy).

Speaking of pregnancy – I’m still really early on. I have my first ultrasound next Monday. I don’t feel like anything’s going on down there. Then again, I’ve been dealing with all these neurological problems and I can’t tell what’s pregnancy and what’s ‘other’. I have been having wild dreams lately and I’ve been very hot overnight.

Well, typing is also now difficult for me and this is taking forever. I’m going to stop for now and try to relax before my o/t. Hopefully it will be easier for me to keep updates posted here.